so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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