imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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