Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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