What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
