Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
