I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
