the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
