You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I love having hate sex.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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