My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
