.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
