did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
