I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
