you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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