I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
