I wish I only lived at night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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