would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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