You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize