so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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