i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
