Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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