Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize