Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
