I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
