you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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