now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
it glows. i had to have it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize