i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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