Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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