Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
