when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
