Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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