A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
