Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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