I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
