It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
