Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
