How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize