Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
