"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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