is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
