Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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