haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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