So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
