Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
