who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
