You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
