he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
