If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I met the friendliest cop last night
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
