she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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