He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
