I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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