Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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