1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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