You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Damn victory sex feels great
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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