help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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