wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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