As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
