What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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