Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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