M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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