My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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