Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
