If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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