yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize