I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
