I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
